I Shit Myself At A Graduation Party. Shit.

January 9, 2017

I was recently invited to a friend’s graduation party. Technically, it was my Dad’s friend’s second-born daughter’s party, but that is a mouthful I was thinking I could spare you. Still. I went as part of my Dad’s plus two, (if there’s anything like that) and because I never shy away from free food. So, […]

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A Day In The Village Is Worth 10 In Nairobi

October 26, 2016

It’s 10.42pm and everyone in the house is deep in slumber.  Village folk sleep early, except the special few, whose careers involve running around naked in the dead of the night, knocking on people’s windows, and depositing stinky shit on their doors, sometimes even smearing it on walls. I’ve heard the strangest of stories about […]

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Monday Moods and Mad Men

August 23, 2016

August 22,2016. TIME: 1336 HOURS I have just come from lunch, where my stomach has involuntarily been subjected to burnt and undercooked ‘pilau’ and a labyrinthine mixture of french beans, carrots, peas and potatoes. It pains me to the core of my bone marrow, that I have had to pay the Mama from the land […]

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Death By Bad Breathe

August 15, 2016

Why do I always get to sit next to the strangest people in public transport? If it isn’t the lady that keeps unleashing heinous farts, and then wriggling her nose like the rest of us when the pungent stench wafts through the air, threatening to pass all of us out,  it is the freak that […]

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Don’t Play With My Food. My Life Depends On It

August 10, 2016

It is no secret that I love food. A lot. And I am very unapologetic about it. I live to eat, while most people eat to live. To me, food is more than just edibles that keep the body systems functioning, and eating is an activity that should be accorded its deserved time. You ought […]

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Things Never To Say To A Writer, Especially THIS Writer

June 13, 2016

“Oh, you are a writer?! I hope you won’t write about me.” If I hear this statement from one more person my ears will literally bleed. No i will not write about you. You know why? Because I know for a fact that you DO want me to write about you if you are making […]

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