I am on the commuter train heading to work. Another long day of building someone’s dreams. Another long day of emails, meetings, calls, chats, documents, sign offs, and a tonne of plastic smiles. I have since mastered the art of plastic smiling. Flashing my teeth someone’s way and pretending to be genuinely amused, when I really just want to flip the birdie at them. Yeah, it’s gonna be a long day.
If there is anything I have learnt this year, it is that you can’t always be happy. You could be laughing your tummy out one minute and crying your eyes out the next. A congratulatory email one minute can be darkened by a dismissal notice the next. Like the Bible says, there is a time for everything. So I am learning to enjoy the highs when they come because I will need that strength and resilience I gain from them to go through the lows.
I have realized that I have turned into a whiner. Not the type that Jamaican artists sing about. Not the waist gurus. The type that murmurs, complains and grumbles about anything and everything. Now, I could go ahead and blame it on the pressure from work, or the idiotic carpenter and house agent who fleeced me of my savings and gave me shitty services. Or on the fact that I miss being home, where the air is truly fresh and people care to put the ‘good’ in morning greetings. Or on the fact that I miss the one person who holds my forte terribly…I can blame it on a myriad of factors and circumstances because we are usually very quick to throw the blame around. But today, I choose to blame it on myself.
See, I have learnt that your joy and your sorrow are your own. No one should have the power to dictate how you feel. People can be mean and condescending. They will walk all over you any chance they get. Use you to climb ladders and go places. Call you names and treat you like trash. And while they do that you can decide to go to a corner, cry and wimp over it, or you can build a plan, learn from the experience, put in your 10,000 hours and look at the bigger picture. That won’t always be your story.
It gets better.