We could be friends, we could date, we could hang out. As long as you do these 5 simple things.
Fries Before Guys. Food Before Dudes.
I can’t say this enough. Get me good food and you have me. My current favorites are some Nuvita biscuits called Hobnobs. Wueh! Those little chocolatey traitors will be the reason I get love handles.
2. Get. Your. Grammar. Right.
If you use any of these; stuffs, make-ups, hurted and the like, please, stay away. Don’t slide into my DM with a ‘hae’.
I will give you blue ticks of the century. The only people allowed to kill and bury English are members of the Nairobi Diaries cast. I don’t know why I enjoy watching that scripted ratchet nonsense.
3. Know Your Way Around a Hammer.
If you can’t fix a simple switch or change a bulb, then you are an unfortunate waste of testosterone. No. Really. Go get a lace wig and draw some squiggly eyebrows on your face.
4. Laughter is Always the Best Medicine (except for diarrhea)
We all can’t be Trevor Noah, but man, try and make a girl laugh. Effortlessly, don’t try too hard. Throw funny shade at people we don’t like. Add a pinch of sarcasm to conversations. Let out a fart once in a while. Life is better when you are laughing, especially with the one you love. While you are at it, try not to be an avid ‘feelings catcher.
So, what do you call a girl who finds a man to do all these for her and then some? Me.